Why being single may be the icing on your cake.

You have broken up with your boyfriend for what seems like forever. And Beyoncé’s ‘If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it’ has become your anthem. You can’t quite seem to figure out why someone hasn’t snatched you up off the single market yet.  Surely, your infectious personality must count for something, and you are easy on the eye too. You are constantly bombarded by your doting mother (and married friends) with the familiar and equally annoying question ‘when are you going to get married?”.  Read on for five reasons why being single may be the icing on your cake, and why you should not rush to the Altar (just yet).

  • You get to focus on yourself

This is the time when you get to develop and ‘find yourself’.  Explore the world and your talents. Do all the things that you truly love to do: paint, write, draw, and if you are feeling adventurous, maybe even go bungee jumping! The world is your oyster!

  • You make decisions on your own

If you are a woman who likes to do what you want, how and when you want, then you might want to bask in your singleness for a bit longer. As a single woman, your decisions are your own. As a married woman, you do not have the liberty of making decisions by yourself. You have to take your spouse’s viewpoints into consideration.

  • You have more time for yourself

Who doesn’t want more time for themselves? When you are a single woman, you don’t have the same responsibilities as a married one does. Without a husband to cater to, time is not a luxury for you, it is a gift!

  • You become more resilient

You get to handle difficult situations by yourself. With no husband to turn to for help or advice, overtime you develop the skills of problem solving. The end result is that you become more resilient. Talk about girl power!

  • You get to sleep ( more comfortably)

Do you like to have the entire bed to yourself? Then you might just want to hold off from getting that shiny diamond ring. Without a husband sharing your bed, you get to toss and turn as much as you want to! And there is no one hogging the blanket, or nudging you in the rib when your foot finds its way to the other side of the bed. Ouch!

What you may not know is that I am married (Plot twist!). I have written this post because I have heard too many women lament over their singleness as if getting married is the pinnacle of success. Marriage is great (to the right man and for the right reasons) but don’t let it be your main focus. Remember that the number 1 is a whole number, and you don’t need another person to be complete.

Are you still eager to rush to the Altar, or are you going to revel in your singleness for a tad bit longer? Why or Why not? Share your comments in the comment section.

How to change your relationship with the fear of failure .

It’s the dreaded four letter word that keeps springing up in our lives like a weed that doesn’t go away . Unlike that pesky weed, your goal shouldn’t be to get rid of fear, but instead to change your relationship with it . How about if you decide to hold fear in one hand and courage in the other? How differently will you look at the things that you are afraid to do ? Here are five effective techniques that you can use whenever you feel that knot in the pit of your stomach :

• Visualise the best case scenario

Daydream! Because that is exactly what visualising is about . Instead of thinking about the worse that can happen , why not switch your thoughts to focusing on the best that can happen ? I have found that doing this helps to put my mind at ease and suddenly the thing that I fear doesn’t seem as scary as before .

• Affirm what you want

Affirm! Affirm! Affirm! You may be what you think, but you are also what you say -or write . Affirmations are a huge part of my daily routine and they have helped tremendously in changing my relationship with fear . Write little reassuring notes and stick them on your mirror as reminders to say them often . You can also write out your affirmations in a cute notebook – get creative !

• Talk about it with someone you trust

Sure , you may feel awkward talking about your fears but you may be surprised at how relieved you are once you have spilled the beans. Find someone who you are comfortable with to talk to . You may be stunned that they too have some of the same fears .

• Sweat it out

Hit the gym ! I have recently joined the gym and I feel so much better overall ; I literally feel like I can conquer the world after a session . And that is because exercise has been proven to release endorphins which put you in a better mood . Fear may just have to take a back seat for a minute or two .

Implement the 5 second rule

This rule has changed my life for the better . It was coined by Mel Robbins ( look her up , she’s awesome ). According to Mel, your brain only has a five second window in which it decides whether or not you should do something . The rule is this : you count from 5 through to 1 ( 5, 4, 3, 2, 1), then immediately do the thing that you are thinking of doing . At the count of 1, you are forced to ACT!

Have you used any of the techniques above to change your relationship with the fear of failure ? Comment in the comment section and let me know.